The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize