my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was like eating out sand paper
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
