Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the day after is always just damage control
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
that is very illegal...i love you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize