the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize