New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
