The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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