So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
