My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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