Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
