Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
