what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize