You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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