is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize