Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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