Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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