That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
