I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize