it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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