Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
