porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
