My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
