Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
