So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
