I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
