I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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