party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Enjoy the penises
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
