I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
