I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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