SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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