its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You were trust falling into bushes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize