That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
