And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
