She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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