He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
