hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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