My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
