what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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