My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
