My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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