Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
