Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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