do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
NoShamevember. You game?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
