I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
