so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
