I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
