I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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