I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
