We won't sleep together?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
