You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
