the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
That's intense
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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