I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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