You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
