I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
