Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
