A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
