He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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