It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
