He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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