Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
